“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”
I have owned businesses for over 15 years and giving feedback to my employees is one of the most frustrating challenges of my day. The reactions to my feedback have varied from pouting and becoming a cancer to my business, verbally attacking and deflecting blame to co-workers, to wanting to quit. I often dread giving feedback even though I know the person and my business would benefit from the input. This is a common pattern in many work settings and creates an environment where people are uncomfortable giving constructive feedback.
The Challenge
Humans are pleasure seeking creatures – and for most – receiving positive input is more enjoyable and better received than negative feedback. People prefer positive input and it is effective at improving enthusiasm, engagement, and self-confidence. This is where the challenge begins and why constructive input is not as common. Most people will do almost anything to avoid pain; and for many, negative feedback is often difficult to hear and can hurt their ego. However, if you have a growth mindset, you should aspire to hear more than what you are already doing well. By becoming a person that pursues constructive feedback, you will provide yourself with valuable input for continuous growth. The barrier to overcome is for you to gain an appreciation for the benefits of constructive or negative feedback.
What can Constructive Feedback do for you?
Remove Blindspots
Feedback is the ultimate way of removing blind spots and gives you a more accurate reflection of where you are at that point in your life. Input from others will shine a light on deficiencies and areas for improvement.
Keep Your Ego Grounded
Feedback can be beneficial to everyone, irrespective of your financial or professional status. Everyone has weaknesses, and shining a light on them can ground you in reality and keep your ego in check.
Set Yourself Apart From Your Peers
Seeking and implementing feedback from others can build momentum for progress and also set yourself apart from your colleagues.
Inspire Focus and Energy Towards Self-Improvement
Feedback will help direct your focus and energy and can result in inspired action. Establishing an open mind to feedback is the ultimate catalyst for progressing from where you are to where you want to be in life. This is an effective way to keep gathering input and help shine a light on areas for improvement.
Important Tips to Have Feedback Become a Part of Your Life:
Tip 1: Have a Plan For Routine Feedback
Feedback does not just happen; You have to make it happen. Make feedback a routine habit, not just a one time deal.
Tip 2: Avoid complacency, the enemy of progress
Seek feedback even when you believe things are going great. This will help you avoid complacency and keep you moving forward.
Tip 3: Establish a Growth Mindset
By establishing a goal oriented/growth mindset, you will view feedback as useful information to guide your growth and development.
Here is a 7 step strategy to pursue feedback and transform your life
Step 1: Identify The Person You Want Feedback From
Identify a person you believe can provide you beneficial feedback and help guide your growth and development. A relationship in some capacity must exist; remind yourself that the person giving you feedback already has an opinion of you. You will now be providing an opportunity to hear what they already feel about you.
Step 2: Set up a feedback session
Remember, they are doing you a favor so create an easy path for them. Ask them nicely if they are willing to meet and provide advice to help you achieve your goal. Meet them wherever and whenever is convenient for them. Write down the date of the meeting and do not be late. Express sincere gratitude for their willingness to offer you feedback.
Step 3: Write down your Goal
Know your goal and convey your vision to the person that will be giving you feedback.
Step 4: Prepare for Feedback Session
Be prepared to hear feedback you might not like
If you want this person to give you constructive feedback, or be willing to offer input in the future, do not be defensive or confrontational. If you mentally prepare to hear things you might not like, you will be receptive to their feedback.
Do not waste this person's time
Most successful people enjoy helping others; however, be prepared and take full advantage of their time. They are successful for a reason and they value their time, so be prepared.
Formulate a list of questions you want to ask
Provide questions to the person prior to the meeting date. This will allow them time to prepare for your feedback session and offer you more thoughtful suggestions.
You can use this form to help guide your questions or send them the link of the feedback form below.
Step 5: Let them know you value their honest opinion-no matter what
Most people believe others want positive rather than constructive feedback, so you might have to convince them that you really want to know what they think. This is why you need to ask questions that are designed to help them feel comfortable being honest with you.
Step 6: The meeting
Let the person know you really appreciate their willingness to meet with you. Take notes on their feedback and thank them again at the end of the session. Ask the person for any suggestions for implementing their feedback. Do not let constructive feedback, no matter how unpleasant, change your view of this person. You asked for the feedback and they are trying to help you.
Step 7: Schedule a follow up meeting
After getting feedback, thank them again and schedule a follow up meeting down the road to evaluate your progress. After you start seeing progress and bright spots, give the person a progress report. The more they see how serious your intentions are about improving, the more likely they will offer feedback in the future. This is also an excellent way to be recognized for future raises and promotions.
“In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.”
Feedback should always be followed by a strategy and a massive action plan.
Start immediately!
Audit your current daily activities
Assess what you focus on throughout the day
Can you improve what you give attention and energy to?
Assess and establish behaviors that align with your goals
-Are you currently engaging in activities that are counterproductive to achieving your goal?
-Are there daily patterns that can be changed, altered or eliminated?
-What activities should you start prioritizing to help you achieve your goal?
Evaluate feedback form
From the feedback suggestions, create a growth plan
What feedback can you implement today?
Formulate a massive action plan from the feedback. Narrow your scope and determine the one big thing you can do today to build momentum and reach your goal. Do not scatter your focus and attempt too much at once.
Final thoughts:
The challenge is to be open minded to feedback even when it leaves you vulnerable to criticism. There is a common tendency to say things like “I guess I was not as good as I thought”, or “I never seem to do anything right in their eyes”. You should try to embrace feedback as an assessment of where you are and be positive about where you could be. By shifting this way of thinking and becoming intentional about pursuing feedback, you will have the necessary tools to promote continuous and ongoing self-improvement.
With the right attitude, strategy, and action plan, you will begin to elevate yourself to the next level and accomplish your desired outcomes. By welcoming constructive criticism, you will begin to receive valuable input to grow your skills and establish emotional resilience.
